Fluffy goes on drinking rampage

January 26, 2007 at 6:31 am (Fake News, Odd)


Fluffy is shown above drinking her favorite brew, apparently it is too much of a favorite for Fluffy. He recently drank a case when his owner stepped out for the evening. In a drunken stupor, he escaped from his 2nd floor apartment by jumping from the balcony onto the back of a passing poodle. Shaken, but undeterred, Fluffy ceased the opportunity to bang the poodle while it was still stunned by the flying pom.

After finishing off the poodle, Fluffy continued his drunken rampage through the city streets of Waynesville, Mo. Fluffy banged everything that moved, including a cement lion statue in front of the home of Mr. & Mrs. Rothschilds. Mr. Rothchild stated he planned on suing the owner for the “stains” left on his cement monument by Fluffy.

On Thursday morning the Waynesville police found the hungover puppy pounder slumped over noted pedophile Herbert Lum’s buttocks. After using the jaws of life to remove the pup from Herbs anus, both were reported to be in “good condition” after the ordeal. Herbert stated, “That was the first time anyone has poked me like that, I love him.”

Fluffy will not have anything to do with Lum, as he is “NOT GAY” according to his owner. Court dates and fines are yet to be determined.


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Fatty Fatty Fat Cat found!

January 26, 2007 at 6:10 am (Fake News, Odd)


Fatty Fatty Fat Cat – lost his way and found a home with Rebbecca Cheesedoodle. Rebbecca is a manager of the local McDonald’s in Toonerville, Fl. FFFC apparently knew what he liked and McDonald’s was just what the cat ordered. It is suspected that FFFC can smell Micky D’s miles away and Rebbecca always smells like a quarter pounder (with cheese).

FFFC is a BIG fan of the BigMac and his size shows it. Instead of chasing mice, fuzzy little catnip filled balls, or licking himself, he prefers to suck down a grease burger from Mac’s.

Luckily, his owner read about the burger munching cat in the news paper contacted Rebecca through the Toonerville Times news paper. Rebecca happily gave FFFC back to his owner after the cat litterally cleaned out her McFreezer.

FFFC will be going on a diet her real owner stated. Hardee’s Monster Thick Burgers should get him back down to fighting weight.

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New born calf can’t decide on a career.

January 10, 2007 at 5:55 am (bizarre, Fake News, Odd)

Jersey the young heifer with two faces born in Virginia on December 27th. She is still split (no pun intended) between going into law or politics (pun intended.)


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Back in my day…

January 10, 2007 at 5:46 am (bizarre, Odd)

We rode our horses until they dropped dead… then we rode them some more… then we let the local dogs eat them.  Back in my day…


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