Bif Naked – Need I Say More?

December 22, 2007 at 7:04 pm (News)


Tats normally don’t do anything for me, but she sings and looks so hot and “bad” with her tats. Bad Bif, bad Bif, now come here and get your spanking.

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Where is my Bonerniva® ?

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Flying Rosie’s Create Giant Crator in Downtown Branson, Missouri.

December 14, 2007 at 3:24 pm (bizarre, Fake News)


Downtown Branson, Missouri was rocked today and a giant crater was formed in the center of town when the skydiving team, “The Flying Rosie O’Donnells Tribute Skydivers Team” failed to open their parachutes while stuffing Wal-Mart Velvet Chocolate Cream Cakes down their throats.

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One surviving member of the team, who happened to land on the pile of cream filling and lard, said the velvet cakes were just to, “fucking good to put down”, and they completely forgot about things like pulling ripcords instead of stuffing their pie-holes.

Local authorities issued the following statement: “We are lucky that no innocent by standers were injured by the “rain of lard”. Wal-Mart is taking partial responsibility for the accident, and has donated a years supply of the Velvet Chocolate Cream Cakes to the entire town of Branson, and a trailer load of toilet paper. Spokesmen for Wal-Mart stated that all future packages will contain a warning, “Do not eat while jumping out of airplanes — especially if your lard to meat ratio is greater than 80%”.

The giant hole will be filled in with the Little Debbie oatmeal and rasin cream cookies, because the Flying Rosie’s hated that shit and had boxcars full of the crap.

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Dr. Zoidberg

December 11, 2007 at 1:58 pm (Fake News)


Washed ashore today on Pompano Beach in Florida.

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Zeb Bush will be serving calamari at the young republicans dinner this evening.

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Schroom of Doom

December 11, 2007 at 1:54 pm (Fake News)


Pepe LaCocha displays the worlds largest peyote mushroom on record.

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Pepe was planning on eating the whole thing himself, while listening to “Hell Bound Train” by Savoy Brown (30 minutes of acid rockin kick ass shit), but when he went to get the giant schroom it was gone.  Investigators tracked the schroom of doom by following crumbs to a local motel room.  Inside they discovered the 2/3rds eaten fungus and a semi-nude David Hasselhoff in the corner of the bathroom yelling everyone was is an ungrateful little bitch and he hates Mary Hart — damn her legs, damn her legs.

Pepe is suing Hasselhoff for $1,000,000  for the loss of his peyote and the right to drive KIT for the rest of his life.  Pepe is confident he will win his case and said, “Dat car, she kic ass.”

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Courtney Love voted skank of the year.

December 11, 2007 at 1:43 pm (Fake News)


Detox central has voted Courtney Love the number one skank drug addict of the year (2007).  Courtney celebrated by smearing some methdrippings on her lips to cover up some herpes sores she got from rimming out Rosie O’Donnell’s anus.

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Courtney is seen in this photo wearing a K-State shopping bag, wrapped in a shawl of piss stained toilet paper.

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