Apple’s Steve Jobs does it again — the iTurd

January 22, 2008 at 11:15 pm (bizarre, Fake News, Odd)


Thousands of iFans lined up for the unveiling of Steve Jobs new iTurd!

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It took awhile for the six bowls of Shredded Wheat to move the dried up turd out of Job’s ass, but it finally came with a ‘kirplunk’ into the golden Apple iToilet. Fans shrieked out when the splash was heard over the massive speaker system connected to his ass. Some cheered, while others wept as the tension of when it would cut loose resulted in a huge emotional release — many of them also shit their pants in unison with Steve.

Laid out on a beige carpet square to accent the beautiful color scheme of Job’s iTurd, the crowd oooh’d and aaah’d as it sparkled in the golden sunshine.

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Technical specifications of the iTurd  will have every fanboy clambering to get one:

  • Solid one piece construction — Apple Quality.
  • All recycled materials.
  • Small and dainty to fit into tiny hands — Apple fanboys have little hands; seriously, look at them next time.
  • Includes one high quality iRubberGlove — for shoving the iTurd up your ass.
  • Weight is only 3 oz’s — fits most fanboy asses, however, some large asses may need the iWedge to fill excess gaps.
  • No batteries required — it’s only good for one-time use anyway.

Suggested retail price: $599.99

What are you waiting for? Shove this iTurd up your ass today iFans.

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