Celine Dion Scats Till She Drops

December 28, 2008 at 9:47 pm (bizarre, Fake News)


Today, the worlds worst scat singer, Celine Dion, broke out in a scat that rocked the world.  For hours she scatted, annoying men, women, and children for miles around the Burppy Sunshine and Caterwauler Jones Theater complex in Branson, Missouri.

Celine (‘Old Bone Chest’ as she is also known)  is proud of the fact that Scatman Crothers called her an abomination to the world of scatting and hoped that she would die someday while scatting on the shitter and flush her soul into the abyse known as the Canadian National Cesspool — an appropriate way to off herself.

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Lucy ‘Juicy Ruth’ Cameltoe found this piece of Celine scat while backpacking in Canada, the home of the scat dropping Dion.  Shit was the word she used to describe Celine’s scat droppings.

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The Great Cow Chop Mystery

December 13, 2008 at 9:59 pm (Fake News, News)


porkchopsPork Chops, lamb chops, WTF happened to all the cow chops?  In butcher shops all over the world, a conspiracy has been brewing.  Butchers have been hoarding all of the cow chops from the public for years.  Think about it.  Have you ever seen or heard of cow chops?

What are they doing with all of them?  Where are they storing them?  Investigators from the F BI have been researching this case for the last three years, and so far, they are clueless as to the whereabouts of the chops.

I do have a hot tip for them, check Oprah’s closet meat locker — that bitch is getting FAT on cow chops!

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Mrs. Butterworth Foundation Raises Funding for Breast Enlargement

December 13, 2008 at 1:37 am (bizarre, Fake News)


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Today the Mrs. Butterworth Foundation announced they have reached the $10,000 goal that will allow the plump Butterworth to finally get the tits that will match her lard ass.  For a fat woman, she has been troubled her entire life by the fact that she is relatively flat chested; unlike her mother, Mrs. Titsworth, a full triple D cup of man munching melons of bodacious fat.

No longer will the Mrs. Butterworth have to hide her head in shame and she will be able to sport her new tits around town with a redesigned bottle image of the big breasted wonder.

Mr. Buttersworth is happy as a squirel shitting a magic peanut that he can finally titty fuck his wife.   That is fine with us Mr. B, just make sure the cap is closed on her head so we don’t get any “extra” cream in our syrup.

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