Why is Cheryl Crow and Tree Huggers So Enamored with our Butts?

March 17, 2009 at 2:17 pm (bizarre, News, Odd)


cheryl-crow

It seems like hardly a week goes by that some tree screaming douche bag is all wrapped up over our asses.  They have this unnatural attraction to the human anus that they can’t help but dwell on what comes out of our asses and how we “clean” ourselves.  Apparently, they would prefer Americans to go back a couple hundred years and start wiping with our left hand again.  (For those unfortunate enough to eat at the Crow house, be sure and bring your own silverware and plates, hand cleanser, and ask for everything to be “WELL-DONE!”

Cheryl likes to use one “tissue” per shit and thinks the rest of the world should do the same. A roll of Charmin must last a year at her house!

Now, another group is advocating we return to our roots, well diaper roots anyway.

butttoiletwipes

These wipes are designed for kids asses, but others fruitcakes are saying adults should use them also.  Just one wipe, toss in the washer with your fine delicates and Sunday best and washy washy the crap away.

Just like my mouth, I don’t want someone telling me what goes in it, nor to I want some paper hoarding pimp mama to tell me how to take care of what comes out my butt hole.  If you’re that concerned, come by sometime and I’ll take a dump in your car trunk so you can haul it away for composting or whatever the fuck you do with it — I really don’t give a shit (pun intended).

“Let My Anus Go!”

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Today With Kathy Lee

March 1, 2009 at 12:45 am (bizarre, Fake News)


Co-Host of the Today show, Kathy Lee Gifford, said her first words today.  Cody, Cody, Cody.

Then stripped her bra off, breast fed 18 year old Cody and forgot to put her bra back on before returning to the Today Show set.   The the sound guy yelled, “Hey Kathy, your tits are still dripping Cody drool.”  Cody kicked the sound guys ass to the ground.  “No one says shit about my mom tits.  I love her tits.  Especially since I don’t have to share them with Frank anymore.”

kathielee-2

Kathy (Fat Ass, Bone Knees, East/West Tits) Lee

Oh Kathy, the best part of you left when you drove Frank to seek out all those hookers… just give your man a blow job everyonce in awhile and you won’t lose him to some crack ho.

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