Wal*Mart Greeters Will Kick Your Ass

June 1, 2010 at 6:55 pm (bizarre, Fake News)

WT FUCK is with Wal*Mart security?  Cameras in the parking lots, ceilings, dressing rooms, bathrooms, floors, electrical outlets, your anus… security RFID tags, you name it, they got it.  BUT, what is the last line of defense in the fortress of Chinese technology?  That old guy/gal standing at the door waiting to tackle the first asshole making a run for the doors with two blu-ray players tucked under his arms like Jim Brown pulling double duty.

Sam Walton doesn’t like kicking ass, but piss him off and you’ll be eating Wal*Mart tarmac.

Paul Washington thought he could juke Walton as he ran from the store carrying two 24 packs of Schlitz Malt Liquor.  Walton jumped Washington from behind and rode him like an old mule all the way to his El Camino, where Paul Washington pulled a quick mule stop, throwing the aging greeter to the ground.  Suspect Washington, then pummeled the greeter with the smooth drinking Schlitz Malt Liquor cases.  Washington would have gotten away, but his tank was siphoned dry in the parking lot by a coyote and his band of merry Mexicans as they headed north.


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